So my 8 year olds turned in a homework assignment where they wrote about their breakfasts. Most of them listed kimchi and rice as the staple, and if they’re lucky they get cornflakes. Cultural divides are so interesting. From a Western point of view, this sounds horrid. From their point of view, it’s no wonder we’re a fat country with bacon and eggs and flapjacks slathered in butter.

But wait, it gets better! One poor child, on whom I had genuine pity, listed her regular breakfast as kim (seaweed), bean sprouts and anchovies. I threw up a little in my mouth just now. Again.